Snow Day

Snow Day is a children's movie about conservative concepts of heteronormativity.

Opening with a mind numbing voice over/computer "where does snow come from" animation sequence, this multi-plot preteen flick from Nickelodeon takes us on a Reaganesque journey into a snowbound theme park of possibilities- with farting. On a surprise snow day during an otherwise warm winter, life changes for Tom Brandston (Chevy Chase) and his family. In Snow Day most everyone has a dream and an enemy. Tom Brandston, a bottom rung weatherman, forced to wear stupid costumes, who hates the local slick know-nothing weather guy, Chad Symmonz. Tom's son, Hal loves the local teen queen, a self-absorbed "Claire", and hates Clair's very recent ex, Chuck. Hal's younger sister, Natalie (the only fleshed out character) just wants to enjoy a snow day, and she hates the local snow plow driver, played as a clowny Satan by Chris Elliott, who hates children and loves his pet magpie. Tom's wife dreams of business success and hates herself for being a rotten mother (picture a very weak Annette Benning from American Beauty).

The little kids behind me, in an otherwise empty theater, howled at every snowball and fart, for good reason. The local children-versus-the-Snowplow-Guy tomfoolery is the only decent fun to found anywhere in the film.Indeed, the prolonged shot of Chris Elliott eating french fries with ketchup off of the chest of the local fat kid who's pretending to be dead is, as we critics like to say, "Quality Cinema." I'm not sure what Elliott needed to do to put his character totally over the top in a Bill Murray-Caddyshack way, because he's very close, yet not there. The pubescent love story could only be interesting to 13 year old girls (natch: vaguely dumb 13 year old girls), and it is almost intolerable to anyone else. There are weird cameos - like Iggy Pop playing a Ice Rink DJ who plays only elevator Music, and Pam Grier as Chase's intolerant news director. Then, as if to make up for the mess, there is the very very funny youngest child, Randall who blows bubbles in his soup, shoves his whole fist in his mouth, and paints himself blue. Still, if you've old enough to remember the first George Bush and if you have any body hair whatsoever, Snow Day is not time well spent.