Galaxy Quest

Prior to seeing Galaxy Quest, I went to a nearby bookstore and purchased a small thin volume titled, The Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook, recently published by Chronicle Books of San Francisco. The authors, Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht advertise on the cover that this book shows how to (1) escape from quicksand, (2) wrestle an alligator, (3) break down a door, and (4) land a plane... I was interested in learning how to perform a fast 180 degree turn in my car from a dead stop. While the book is very interesting and funny stuff in that dead pan way that very few can pull off anymore especially since irony has taken over), I had to wonder if this book would be able to protect me from the movie I was about to see.

Needless to say, I was very worried about Galaxy Quest, not only because it hasTim Allen (guggh) in it, but because spoofy sci-fi comedies are rarely good. Did anyone see Spaceballs? No? Here's a quick recap of the GQ plot: Aging cast members of a cancelled sci-fishow (read: The original Star Trek) are taken into space by needy aliens who mistakenly believe the cast to be actual space explorers. These peaceful aliens(dressed like Devo) need leadership from the actor in order to escape the clutches of evil lizard/fish warrior aliens.

Here's a quick recap of the result: "You will love it on cable!"

This film brings up a troubling rhetorical question. Why can'tdirectors get the drama sections of their action/comedies to work? Tim Allen is supposed to have an emotional breakdown in a convention hall toilet, and the scene falls super-dee-duper flat on its ass. Any part of this movie that was trying to do anything other than be funny just stunk. The actors who play the peaceful aliens from Theramin are very funny, especially Enrico Colantoni who plays Mathesar, the leader. Heck, if you are plus/minus on whether or not to see this movie, go see it just for the way they move their mouths. Tony Shaloub (Big Night, Wings) plays the cast member who played the engine room guy, and he is absolutely worth the price of a matinee/student/senior citizen/handicapped/employee discount ticket. While all the other characters are freaking out, Tony plays it straight in this half-stoned smiley way, offering his alien crewmates a "group hug" after they've done a good job. Alan Rickman is also vaguely funny as the Nimoy/Spock character who used to be a classical actor. Sigourney Weaver, on the other hand, is conspicuously miscast as the aging bimbo; it's a bad part, one that could send her career on a long slide towards the gutter. I hope she got a bundle for it.

In the end, Galaxy Quest is a movie saved by low expectations. I laughed out loud many times and was never bored, but make no mistake, it's not a good movie. It is, however, the very best a bad movie can be. What we really wanted here was to see the actual cast of original Star Trek to do this very same movie, with Shatner playing himself. That movie would rock.