| On a spring day, the assembled staff of Babygorilla met with Mary Eisendrath, Lamar's human companion. There were sandwiches and drinks; there was some candy. |
|
the interviewer |
the interviewie |
Where and when did you get Lamar? |
Evanston Animal Shelter, March 29th, 1998. |
| How many states has he lived in? | Only one, as far as I know: Illinois. But he has traveled to Wisconsin. |
| How old and how much does he weigh? | The guess is that he's about 10. He's 62 pounds. |
| What do you feed him? | Science Diet Lamb & Rice dry food. He is also a big fan of carrots. |
| Has he ever been lost or stolen? | He was found as a stray (I think he ran away, from home), but since I've had him he has never left me. I could leave him in the house with the doors wide open all day and he would be there when I came home. I don't think he would let anyone steal him, except maybe the pizza man. |
| What are the biggest crimes on his rap sheet? | He actually does have an official rap sheet with the city of Chicago: He bit a police officer. He also once ate my Christmas lebkuchen. |
| He bit a cop? | Oh dear.
Yes, I came home one day to my front door locks in a questionable
state, so I called the non-emergency police number to file a report.
Two cops came over, one was chatty, everything was fine. Then they
were on their way out and the chatty one reached out to pet the dog,
and Lamar gave him a good nip in the hand. As you can imagine, I stood
there mortified and profusely apologizing. The cop was nice, but insisted
on filing a report as all animal bites have to be taken to the hospital
and all kinds of paperwork follow suit...
|
| This is getting goofier and goofier. He called you back a year later? | To the day. It's totally screwed up, but he said that he would call me the next day and he didn't. I was ticked but not not destroyed or anything, but then a whole year goes by and he calls. He's like "uh...sorry." |
| So, then who was a better judge of character? | Oh, that would be Lamar. He's a excellent judge of character. |
| Who's smarter, you or Lamar. | Oh I think that I'm probably a little smarter. Lamar is smart in a fairly specialized sort of way. |
| How so? | He knows what's happening; he can get things done. |
| Who are his best friends? | His best friends are mostly people. My family: Dad, Mom, Alison and Joe. He adores his Aunt Kerry. Also he has many neighbor friends: most especially Keith and Virginia, Bandit (dog) and Jack's dad. |
| If Lamar played hockey, what position? | Definitely
Defense. |
| What's the name of your hockey team again? | |
| What Hollywoody type actors might play Lamar in a movie? | Aunt
Kerry says Clint Eastwood. |
| Is Lamar "Cute as Fuck." or "Totally fucking cute." or both or neither? | He
is too cure to be true. |
| Does he understand every word you say? | Absolutely. |
| When is his most active part of the day? | Morning. |
| What won't he eat? | I'm
sorry, I do not understand the question. |
| What has he eaten that he was not supposed to eat. | [see the eating page] |
| Surgeries? | He has had one tooth pulled and 1/2 a broken tooth pulled, on separate occasions (a true hockey player, he is). Also, before my time he got neutered (but that's personal) And his back dew claws removed |
